SO HERE IS WHAT I THINK OF BLIND DATES

Recently my friend hit me up with an email and sent me a link to You Tube to watch an episode called Tujuane. It has been now a couple of months since I first heard of it, however, I had been caught up in this dissertation cycle. Opening the link was like opening a can of worms I couldn't not  sleep that night. Instead I was glued to my screen and I indulged  episode after episode.

This gave me rather a clear picture of what the dating scene is like in Kenya. In my opinion it is okay to have a blind date go bad, apparently that is nothing too far from the norm. However, If it goes bad and you have a million viewers watching it, one should be prepared to face the wrath of  opinionated social media participants. Look at what happened to Susan here. (the poor girl) I would say i could pin point a million girls who do the same on dates, the only difference is they do not do it on national television (wise)

There is a lot of stereotyping  that happened on many of this dates. Where do you live? (apparently its either you live uptown ama estlando!). Some girls say they don't like talking in Kiswahili (watch this). Being a great fan of Churchill Show, I wonder what happens when Ayeiya is on stage. Would the same girls say... i have no idea what he is saying, I bet they would be laughing their asses off.

I have a set of rules that I stick to when going on a blind date that helps me have a really great time or enables me pull through an excruciatingly boring date . Dating is a great chance to meet people and know their story, there is beauty in diversity.Before you show up for a date, ge a hint of who the other person is, do this through emails , social media, texts or even a phone conversation. That is one way of preventing impending disaster. I believe within 10 minutes of having a truly genuine conversation you can tell if it is worth it to meet this person. Thats why some ladies get dissaponted when they find they have been sent on a date with a 22 year old and they a nearly clocking their late 20's (or 30's) like this one.

Do not have unreasonable expectations of your date, don't always expect to find a Taye Diggs (i so dig him) or a knight in shinng armour waiting at your table.

Be ready to take what embrace what comes your way, because you would have been seated home watching TV.. most likely bored in over sized jumpers or a stocking on your hair. Dress appropriately! it may be good to find out before hand where you might be going not to end up dresses in formal wear then go out on a skating date!


Make the date casual, as the saying goes 'Its never that serious'. Keep the conversation simple, its not an interview for your future spouse. Do not impose you personal values on your date, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, so keep an open mind. Ask open ended questions and make sure the conversation does not revolve around yourself. talk about current affairs, television programs, movies, books, hobbies and interests and avoid very controversial issues such as politics, how much they earn and religious beliefs. However getting past that boring date, needs extra special effort, always tell yourself. its only this one date and give it 30 minutes ( suck up and make it as brief as possible). This will save you from those coma- inducing boring dates!

Be yourself, humility is a virtue and focus on common talking point with your date rather than try and show your date how much better you are than him... or how you are out of his league. Be kind and polite, however do not be too accommodating, if vulgar language is used to too suggestive personal contact it is vital that you highlight some personal boundaries in a cordial manner. Carry some cash just in case you have to foot the bill, Ladies it doesn't mean that if the guy doesn't pay he is an outright loser.... but guys if you do pay, you score higher. I believe if a guy asks a girl out he should stick to the 3-P rule. Plan, Prepare and Pay!




How much fun you have on a date is entirely dependent on you! Just because you had a terrible blind date doesnt mean you write -off blind dates completely! The best part is even if the current date doesn't work out (which is very okay).. you are a step closer to finding what you really want!

HELLO THERE I AM TWENTY SOMETHING

I moved to a studio apartment recently just a walk away from school. its very cosy and warm. I do miss being with people around me but now i can focus appropriately. It is said that change is as good as a rest; but this change has not made me rest. Moving away from home to a another place in a foreign land was very exciting , nonetheless, i wouldn't say it was not easy... but definately worth it.

I am turning 25 this week (YIKES!!!!) I do feel very old, year do fly past. Just a few years ago i was at 17 doing my first job, then i got to 21 which was the perfect age to be ( it even sounds good to say 'Im 21')   23 came next and this is the age of responsibility, coz your not too young and not too old either and before i even got used to saying i'm 24 ... the big 25 is here. When you get to 25 you stop counting and start using words like mid 20's and late 20's :-)

 The next thing you know you have candles  on your birthday cake like this.

To be honest i'm not looking forward to turning quarter a century!! What makes it worse, are the blogs that tell you.... 'Things you need to do before you turn 25'. Honestly!!! When i was younger i thought 25 was an irky age.. i hoped that by the time i turned 25 i would be working in a international agency, globe trotting and experiencing different cultures, at 25 i hoped to be so in love and staring at the sunset in the horizon, At 25 i thought i'd be at 60 kgs and dressed to kill. At 25 i thought i would have a house of my own holding great dinners and sipping cheap wine in the evenings.

Now that i am 25, i am still in school reading, working at a restaurant, gone to only 2 countries, definitely out of love and no sunset in the horizon because of the classic tale of the English weather!! I am not complaining....... i'm just trying to reiterate that fact that you can't plan out your life to work in a certain way. Things may actually turn out differently, but usually for the better most of the time. Its not exciting to turn 25 when i know i'm am growing closer to getting wrinkles and grey hair. I may be overreacting but.. the journey of a grey hair starts with one birthday!

My take on birthdays. I love attending birthdays may be because other people are growing old and i am not! I have never really had a birthday party ( true) just once. I love small quiet birthdays with the ones i love :-) about  2-4 people or just with my family. That is what i call quality time, big birthdays have to be organized for me coz it is too much pressure and i can over do things...... my OCD kicks in. When my birthday draws closer... the text messages keep flowing 'Where the party @??' Birthdays are when people come eat drink and make merry and  sometimes you take so much effort to prepare and people cancel, show up late and sometimes no presents!

I am spoiled  i love to be pampered. No birthday without presents ... even if it is just a card.. it is the thought that counts. Preparing for a birthday is one of the greatest social pressure i have found hard to come to terms with. However, i will still call all my friends for a birthday dinner and make merry till the sun comes up ;-0.

Turning 25, makes you feel like this when the big things in life start. In terms of thinking about career, friends,love and marriage. This is when your parents stop giving you do's and don'ts and they do listen to your opinion as a grown up.

I sure do want to hang on to my early 20's where i partied till the sun came up!! when spontaneity was the order of the day........ when i loved dangerously! There are no limits in the early 20's. Rest assured i am not changing so much, i think compromise is what has to suffice :-0 The balancing act.

I am so blessed to come this far.... i have had great highlights in my early 20's and the downs were not that bad. In this 25th year of my life i plan to grab life by the balls.... travel to many places that i have always wanted to, get that job that i want, lose that weight that i don't want. If i can't watch the sunset in the horizon then i will be dancing in the rain. This life is for me to savour its delights. A happy 25th to me!!! (Drum rolls)!

CHEWING GUM PROBLEM???

Walking to down the super market to but any candy has been a daunting experience for me lately.... i have never had such a wide variety to choose from. Daunting because first, i love food and i have a sweet tooth.. yes i said it!! At the same time i do not want to add to much weight and not fit into all this pretty little dresses i have at my disposal... this picture reminds me of ball gums that i have had in plenty in my life. When you don't know what candy to buy you can comfortably buy Ball gums.
they are colorful and so pretty!!!!

So this week i was walking down Old Christchurch Road going to town center. I saw this council worker removing chewing gum from the street... One by one. the quantity of chewing gum he had to remove was minimal as i thought the restaurant owner had probably requested for it. A day later i found the same council worker removing chewing gum from the square one by one, whereas the street looked like a carpet stuck with grey chewing gum blotches.

( this is how the street he was working on looked like!!!)

At first i thought this was like the worst form of punishment... but when i talked to him he seemed quite jolly and said that he had to use his small machine doing one chewing gum at a time.
I would have thought that littering was non-existent in england..... however they have their own share of problems in keeping the streets clean and neat.

On average, 30,000 pieces of gum are irresponsibly discarded each day on Oxford Street in London alone, contributing to 3.5 billion tossed pieces of gum each year in the UK. Some people argue that it is a way of creating jobs however ..... who wants such a hard job any way. if people can throw big papers and bottles in a can how can  aminute thing such as gum be this hard.

It costs over £1 to remove one piece of gum from the street.The British Government spends 150 million British Pounds (approx. $230 million USD) annually to remove an average of 7,000 tons of chewing gum from UK streets.According to leading American dietitians, swallowing gum can actually boost the fiber in our diets and help to prolong life, and by giving us the impression that we are full it can help tackle obesity. My message to the gum-chewers of Britain is if you chew, then swallow, too. And if you can't swallow it, then find a bin or face a fine.

THE MYSTERY LANDLORD

Moving into student halls is great but not always. First, i lived in Chesil house i rerally didnt like it much.... and i am not complaining..because i loved my studio flat in student halls. but i didn't know too many people there and with most students being undergraduates.. i felt rather older.. not meaning I'm grumpy and boring but i have better priorities for my time and social preferences vary plus it was pricey. So i moved in with some of my classmates on a shared flat. My flatmates are okay they are funny  and i get to eperience different cultures through them. Sometimes they do get on my nerves but those are woes for another day. i will not even give you a glimpse of how some of their rooms look like (hoping none of them reads my blog!!! erk!).

The most peculiar thing about where i live is that i have never met the landlord! So let us give him a random name  for security reasons  me being kicked out let us call him John*. He is the hardest person to meet and call. Since i moved in he sent someone over to make sure i settled in just fine and do a little bit of this and that in my room to make it more homely. He is so difficult to get on phone and the caretaker always says John says this or John says that. Apparently everyone else in the house has met him just me????
They speak so highly of him... he is a good person, he is very kind and understanding... and so on and so forth.

So i figured there are several ways i could picture him... in my spare time..lol.

The banker in Deal or No deal.... ( off course not the one holding the phone... the one on the other end of the phone. We have really never seen this banker but.. we could have a mental picture of him. Maybe its a guy who is in a suit behind a desk...

Or..... believe it or not i once thought he might be The Mask.. you know a random guy who puts on a mask and becomes anything....

 Maybe.. he is even like Iron man..... like Mr. Stark..








 May be just maybe.. i have just over done it.... but things you think about in your spare time can be really stupid.. well i don't want to meet him... because its better putting faces to a person....

DAMSEL GOES TO ENGLAND

This Big girl went out to conquer the big world and first stop was England !!! I know it has been four months now, seems time passes so fast, and i have had so much happen in such a short time that i can't squeeze into one blog post. It was sad at first to leave my family and friends, but it was time to look ahead.

I live South West of England in a small town called Bournemouth, which has a beautiful sandy beach on the english channel just 10 minutes from my house. This was my first time out of Africa (It always has to start from some where) and i was nervous as a june bag in henhouse. My mother thought i was going to get lost when connecting my flights in Amsterdam..... she rushed me at the airport i had to tell my friends goodbye through a glass window at JKIA. Luckily i got to my destination safe and sound.

I always had this picture of England in my head, from the movies (Pride & Prejudice), books like Jane Eyre... i wanted to come to the land of the queen, ever since i was young. When you grow  upreading cinderella and beauty and the beast... all you want to see a palace, the queen and squirells on the compound. or better yet my adult imagination made me think that it would look like Hogwarts and the underground was like hogwarts express... well to some extent it is true.. but the rest preety much is just English.

Me at westminster Abbey... see me with kate and william at Hamleys.... my fairy tale complete.

 

 

However, moving doesn't come without its own set of suprises. This are few things i have learnt and observed.

1. The bus will never wait for you... countless number of times i have been left by the bus... one day i just missed the bus by 5 seconds and i was running in my new heels that i had not yet got used  to  and the bus drove off!! Hath no fury.... i screamed and scorned at the bustop till other people just looked at me, trying to regain my sanity.. i shouted... 'In Kenya the bus waits for  me '
2. There are always two taps, one hot water and the other cold. this is not entirely new to me. Yes, we have double taps back at home.. but only the cold taps work... Rather cool to have both taps working yay!!!
3. When someone tells you ' That's funny'  what they actually mean is that it is actually not.
4. Everyone stands behind the bar..... they practically just crowd there, there no waiters passing drinks! In kenya i wonder what would happen with those who do one drink all night....
5. People in England say - Ain't it - ( meaning isn't it)...it is just wrong!! grammatically.. i can never get used to it.
6. The shops close too early over the weekends... what.. i miss nakumatt its 24 hours :-(

I have met many people made new friends and i love every chance i get a new experience . Success comes to those who embrace change and not those who resist it.

Best part of it though is the shopping experience whoop whoop!!