I AM WEIRD... BUT IN AN AWESOME WAY...

I’m not going to open this blog post by saying its been a while since I last posted….again, but that’s a fact. Things have been moving fast in my life lots of new experiences, I am completely exhilarated, meeting new people, going to new places and amazing girlfriend moments, I have laughed hard till my ribs hurt, I have cried so hard that… I was whimpering uncontrollably, I have had mind boggling conversations with great people…. A wholesome experience it is…

I do not consider my self an ordinary girl..as a matter of fact i am Extra-odinary, I do live in  world of my own… my own movie with a story line starring well … me. I sometimes amaze my self and wonder.. do the people around me get what i really say to them... sometimes my friends think im weird...

I still check under the bed every night before i sleep.... i have no idea why coz the boogey man is not real. I still have most of my dinner dresses really circular and pricessy design... to hell with fashion.. i want to look Like cinderella.

I still write a journal and have secret code names like Scrooge for mean people and Prince charming for the awesome guys.. :-) Don't get me wrong ... i don't run around kissing real frogs and collecting pumpkins to take me out, nor Pray that my fairy godmother will appear with her magic wand and give me a gorgeous print dress and 5 inch double platform heels... i actually go shopping and get me some clothes...

Sometimes people tell me to snap back to reality, but that is just me... i will not stop wanting to travel to the most amazing places in the world... machu pichu, taj mahal...leaning tower of pissa, the Holly wood sign...and many many more places. There is no harm in dreaming......big.

I love my food cold and highly sugary, i love rice and milk mixed together and choclate pancakes. I love to sleep in diffrent socks.. even though they are paired up. I love listening to music though 80% of the time i can't hear the lyrics and i have to print the lyrics. I still write songs in my diary and if the old newspaper cut outs (pop stops) were still there, i'd fix them on my journal..... i love reading old books and will read them to the end no matter how excruciatingly boring it may be.

I am a hopeless romantic, I trust too much too fast and i think its cool to take long walks and dance in the rain... who cares if you catch a flu... thats what doctors are for... and salons for the hair. I still think "Sound of Music" is the greatest movie ever.. even after Lord of the rings and Chronicles of Narnia.... I still believe that i can get a message in a bottle marked "X"....

I truly live in my own small weird world.. which may not make sense to many but me... but i still think its weird in an awesome way!!!!

I WON SOMETHING ON RADIO...

Well i won some thing on Radio today, ive been working out in the gym, but im not going to turn down that Pizza!.. freebies taste so good. I look at my pic holding that voucher and thinking... i actually won something! I am not such a true believer in the lottery, though my dad made me scratch so many of those charity sweepstake cards when i was young. We only won a thousand bob! Which i considered a rip off coz we had bought much more.. :-( Good thing is that its was for a good cause.

Yep that's me there with an all happy face and a grumbling stomach... I had to make sure I came for it completely famished. Its not that im not a true believer entirely its just that any little thing I win.. I flaunt it so much, no matter how small.. see im blogging about free pizza ( my point exactly!!). Maybe it God's way of telling me to question how I would  behave if it was bigger???

The first recorded sign of using the lottery was in China... it is even believed that the government used the lottery to build the Great Wall of China! In 1612 Virginia's economy was once revived by the intoruction of the lottery to keep the settlers with income to survive.... Its not every body's lucky day... but sure do buy a ticket once in a while it may be just-your-luck.

I have always wondered what happens to those people who win the lottery... For instance .. Tazama chappa?? We are Africans, its in our blood to take care of the other people in the family.... extended family.. your brother's wife younger cousin's step sister's adopted daughter! Do they all come rushing in at the time???How come i never know someone who has won the lottery with huge tons of cash??? People win the lottery.. just never met them....

Bottom line this is the second time i have won this month.... and i am loving it!! guess this time i may just convert to a true believer ( for now )... who knows if I might just get that trip I have long waited for... *wink wink*

ALMOST THROWN OFF BALANCE

Its been Eons since i posted last... lately i have been holding my pen to write even in my journal but i dont seem to quite get it out. Its supposed to be a sneak peak into my diary to some extent, but i wasnt sure i was ready to let it all out there. Finally some one had to write something! this past two months have been .... well something.

When my girlfriends and I meet our conversation is broken into several categories to make catching up quite easy. We talk about our academic life.. ( which is not so existent since most of us are out of school), our social life, our financial life, our professional life and most of all our love life. This is an all rounded way to keep catching up, prolly very efficient. Lately all this categories seemed to have a downward spiral in my life and some completely non existent. I really had some hard questions to ask, but no one could answer them, i am all grown up now, this are the things i ought to take care myself.

My parents always teach me to behave so I can make it in life. The usual work hard in school and get Excellent grades this will take you to high levels in society. Respect your elders and work with utmost deligence and honesty. Save, invest, get knowledge and sieze opportunities. Keep away from "some" boys .... the list is simply endless...

What i concluded was, what to expect in life was not told to me by all my mentors. They missed out telling me that it may be kind of hard to get some of those jobs no matter how well qualified you are. They always told me that i would kiss many frogs but never how ugly some of those frogs would be, they never told me that life would sometimes be so unfair and there is nothing i could do no matter how right i thought i was... They never told me thats\not all the succesful and happy people were good ( some are evil), but i cannot say who deserves what!

At one moment i thought life could never get worse... annoying and unfair. I felt life this all should shut down and leave me alone. It was more like a chain reaction something bad leading to something even worse. This are the defining moments. They always make sure to get the best of you. Is that the reason why some people look so serious as they grow older..#justwondering

I am not entirely unhappy about what i have learnt in this past few months, i have to take it positively.. it was a humbling moment. One thing that was true was the fact that in the end if you do what is right you will have the last smile ( laugh sounds evil...) This kind of experiences build character, how well you deal with any situation. The nitty gritties of how hard sometimes it can be.. are what you don't need to focus on.

If everything would be on the other hand so smooth life would have been somewhat boring i guess.... The light at the end of this tunnel......... i think i just got there...

MISS SMARTY MOUTH

All my life i have grown up knowing that education is the key to life and my teachers taught me that education is all about books and knowing everything there is to know, so i spent hours in books, heaps of them getting to know all i could. I am proudly nerdy and sometimes i say somethings to people that sounds Klingon  and they give me puzzled look. Being smart naturally this is supposed to be a good thing... but sometimes i think it is sort of a blessing in disguise!

I am not bellittling the fact that knowledge is vital, just that sometimes being nerdy or such a smarty mouth is kind of annoying. For instance my girlfriends once told me that always intimidate my dates coz of being a smart mouth and i thought .. Lame! Every guy wants a smart lady who knows everything (wrong!!!!) it can be intimidating sometimes.... especially if he wants to crack a joke and you sploosh him with facts and historical references... eventually turning into a historical lecture.. who really wants to talk about Charles Dickens, Hitler, Fidel Castro, acne, world peace .....??? Lesson learnt to well.

So quietly women learn to sit back and let the men shine in conversations, as much as you think they are so wrong but definately not always and laugh at the stupidiest jokes, sometimes letting someone feel smart works over taking the spot light. I used to wonder how people can stand blondes... i mean they are soo... well.. BLONDE! Facts they say the stupidiest things that make you laugh, they don't have to think they just live the moment have fun and drama... may be thats why men prefer blondes..... although there is also the darwinian theory to explain it... ( there me being nerdy again)

Bring out crazy arguments but that doesnt matter whether you are right or wrong just have a goddamn opinion.. don't be the it's okay person.. say No! sometimes. So nerdy me, has tried this and it definately works...!!! it boosts the self esteem of the people around you and only then can you see the true colours of who they are and they enjoy being around you more... Sometimes i look completly interested in stuff i am being told but have no clue they are talking about.... but somehow they will shut up along the way... and don't judge me because men completely switch off when we start talking about fashion and make up!

Im just saying....two sides of the same coin... i need the nerdy part of me to reason, come up with great ideas, run businesses, get jobs, succeed and the blonde part of me to balance it out .. have fun interact and do the whole livin la vida loca. Anyhoo its never that serious!

MY ENDLESS BLUBBERING OF THIS RAINY SEASON'S WOES

Well the rainy season is back ... yay! Im so happy because i can finally hang in my crocs and multicolored socks and curl at a corner to watch tv, at home. This rainy season also cames with some woes commonly heavy suffocating clothes, Adjusting the TV ariel, sleeping in a cold bed, getting late to wake up, laundry that never dries, trees falling and causing traffic the list is endless. I have a high tolerance level but some of this just make my annoyed clock tick faster.

 The first one is javing.. when the rainy season comes no one wants to open the windows and it is not cool to have a mixture of  'frangrances' for breakfast. To make matters worse the common cold... that i do not feel should be common to all, sneezing, chorus of coughs and who knows what you might catch...(severe influenza, dengue fever, diarrhea, skin rashes and leptospirosis)------>reason why i need a car..:-) Please for the sake of us who have been trying hard to stay healthy and Flu-free leave the damn window abit open for air circulation.

Hair hair hair do - undone need i say more .. cringe! Exactly how i feel after my hair has been rained on.. ( I don't like cats... this is hillarious!)

Next i am mad at those people driving at high speed past pedestrians.... it rainy, at least don't splash water on us.... really...! we have bearly recovered from the matatu-fragrance oven! I might just consider dressing up in a plastic rain coat and look like a walking nylon live-mankin! I am still job hunting thats bad enough i have to walk around in a suit to interveiws and a mad splattered one to show how bad it is.

Fare hikes!Yikes!  Matatus hiking fare to a whooping 100 bob for a 17 minute ride .. (P.S no traffic) and the guy tells me arrogantly "madam kama wewe hawezi kosa soo! we sonko!" Just coz of my suit spulltered with mud at the back.... only if you had looked twice. If i was a sonko id have taken my self home by now!

KPLC! My greatest woe, i will never undestood what is the relationship between electricity and lights , apart from, where there is enough rain we can generate more electricity.. but i have no idea where it goes at that particular time. Indoors is the best place to be when rainy, but how will we survive this if there is no lights to keep us indoors??

When i was a child i loved dancing in the rain, watching the rainfall from my window sleeping sound when it rained..No thats not true but now it sucks.. when i need to be in it everyday.. go through what i go through every day around it sometimes in it .... truly familiarity brings contempt..

MY OWN 12 SIMPLE DATING TIPS

I am not an expert at dating nor do i believe there is one. I usually think some advice may work well for one person but not for another. A classic case of one man's meat........ Generally there are some do's and don't that are conventinally accepted... well by me and some few other people that agree. Dates are very important and crucial they give the initial impression of who you are and you definately want to be yourself.

Simple things can determine how good your date can go and this are some of the ones i really feel are basic and should be followed to avoid common dating mishaps...

1. Don't talk too much, a date allows you to find out who the other person is. If you hog the whole time talking about yourself, you may just miss the chance of knowing the person across the table. Listening is a virtue... it shows you are interested in what your date has to say.
2. Baggage. Leave it at the door! This is someone new, a clean slate, do not disscuss your past relationships or heart breaks especially on the first dates. If your date asks, kindly tell him that is a story for another day.
3. Dinning etiquette !! I cannot emphasize this enough,if you can't use a knife and a fork ask for a spoon, eat small bits of foods at any one given time and do not talk with food in your mouth, bad table manners can be a turn off.
4. Eye contact is healthy, but do not stare it can make your date quite uncomfortable, smile and be warm this helps your date be more at ease and not a complete nervous wreck!
5. Don't pick up calls, this is very common especially with Nairobi guys.. (first hand account), if you have an important call coming tell your date early in advance otherwise ignore all the other calls you can always call them back after the date.
6. Guys, please pay for the first date dinner tab! That is what a gentleman would does. Ladies, do not push to pay for the bill, i call it playing the "Independent woman" card.... he asked you out he will get the cheque, don't flinch or even pretend to look for your wallet till he offers ... no no.
7. Flirt, smile, laugh at each other's jokes. Touch his arm, dating is not a business meeting.Don't be too smart (nerd) or too blonde..... Keep it light and fun... complete ticket to a second date.
8. Make an effort to look good. Be smart, be clean and pleasant. It feels so good when you see your date has made time to prepare to meet you. Women splash on some perfume, a bit of make up and  don't dress trashy, modest is the new sexy.
9. Mind your language, do not use offesive words, curse or vulgarity. It shows that you are rude, impolite and disrespectful. This also applies to common pick up lines...
10. Even if you don't like your date, don't be quick to give them a hard time. Your partner is human and, like you, deserves to always to be treated with respect. You can still have a good time hanging out with someone you're not attracted to, so treating them badly just because they're not your type is unacceptable. Rudeness is not allowed.
11. Tell the truth, don't be too secretive put yourself out there abit, it shows you also have weakness and can be vulnerable... its only human, covering up alot does not allow your date know the amazing person that lies inside.

I think with this up your sleeve, you can have an easier time during your dates. Its worked for me. Dating should be fun and cheap to ensure its sustainability over longer period.

LIFE IS GOOD....

I'm up early today, i even did some workout. I have a busy day ahead so i have to plan well not to have loads of backlog into the Friday! If you are wondering how cleaning out my closet is coming. Well, its amazing how one simple thing has changed alot of what is happening now. I take less time to dress up ( finally- since my options are limited). I can now see more space around me, im thinking of even repainting a more calm color not my mother's trafitional ivory walls. In a nutshell its been great less baggage.

This week has been great, you know one of those weeks where everything is just perfect! The universe is responding to this positive energy im exuding. Robin Sharma is one of my favorite motivational speaker especially on Personal development. I read some 60 things which he reccomended that one would do to have a stunningly great life ( which you can read  here ) I find some appalingly repulsive but some make complete sense. ( why would i want to sell the T.V??)

Finding happiness within your self is the best thing. If your own company bores you and you cannot have quality me-time who is going to actually enjoy being around you?? When you love your self, it makes it easier for others to love you and enjoy being around you. You gain an aura around you that attracts people (good ones) and keeps the bad away. Im not saying that bad things don't happen.... but it all begins in the mind. The mind is a powerful weapon... so lets give credit where its due.

As my weekend starts (yay!) im definately sure it going to be delightful. I look foward to having great conversation, good food, new experiences, pass my TOEFL exam ( why do we need to do them anyway....tsk..tsk ) and meet new people .

CLATTER CLATTER ... A HEAPED MIND PLATTER

I enjoy watching -Clean House- it is usually aired on Style. This is not your usual 'Extreme Makeover - home edition' programme. They look for the houses with the most clatter .. a complete-junkyard-in-your-living-room kind of house, then take out the clatter and restore homes. I find it very fascinating how much stuff you can keep in such a small perimeter. The clients usually have an issue behind all the clatter and its is not entirely because they are lazy.

Last night, i decided i had to create time to clean out my closet. My mother had been consatantly telling me i had too much clothes in my room, and i'd tell her that each piece of garment had a purpose. She was not just being 'mom', but actually my room  did look like a "hurricane aftermath!!" I kept on saying i would get to it but the truth is it kept on getting worse with everyday i procrastinated.

I have always been obsessively neat, this was unusual. I am not on an 8 - 5 job. I work mostly from home ... so simply i have no excuse. So, yesterday i worked late into the night.. cleaning my room , I had to give up some stuff. Ofcourse did not want to do it but i knew had to. Especially my wardrobe. Fitting into some clothes brought some nostalgic episodes. My first dinner in campus. The clothes i wore when i lost a whooping 7 kgs, some of them couldnt fit me anymore, some were completely worn off.. (shoes)... some clothes id saved up for so long to but i didnt want to let them go. Some were just past my age.... they were childish  and did not depict elegance.

 Some were worn to very special days... first campus date, outfit worn for my first stage hosting, gifts from my friends on birthdays, hand me downs- of which some were completely hideous! I have always learnt to keep my wardrobe very simple and just enough to get me by well. I had a whole "gikomba" ( as my mom called it) she did exegerate to some extent.. when had it come to this??? I knew i had to give them out, not just because it was kind, and messy, or because i had no use for them anymore, but because it was time to let go.

The clatter reflected the state of my mind and how my emotions at this particular stage in my life was. I did loose weight but i gained it back. I guess hanging on to the old petite clothes reminded me of how small i was once before. I had to let them go and embrace me now (im very okay). I did not want to give out my dinner dresses... since they have such splendid memories attached to them. My shoes... have trodden great lands, but i have to give them out. I was young and crazy... now im a fully grown lady and i can't stick to that look not anymore. Im sorry i had to let the hand-me-downs go, my sisters are far from me but their jackets don't make them any closer.... plus they really are fashion wanting. I have to learn to make meaningful communication with them.

Part of me felt sad, but the bigger part of me felt happy ,not just because i had a chance to give something out to someone who needed it, but also because i was letting go any attachments from my past that were crowding my physical space. Sometimes life can be tough, but a friend once told me that... life is like a movie and God is the director.. he will give his best actors the hardest roles. I don't mean that i have entirely forgotten my great and lovely past... but i have kept what is most important in form of memory staches in my mind. Memories that i can relate or refer to later. It has not only made my physical space more comfortable but also my mind is more at ease.

As i zip up this Godzilla-sized suitcase, i am ready now to let new things, new people, new experiences flow... im only 23 ( but not for long)... i have a world out there to conquer and i know i have enough room for what is coming... i can handle it! - I cleaned out my closet..:-)

EASTER'S NEW TRADITION

Its great to have mum back home for easter, techincally today is easter so all the messages i got on friday should have read - Happy Good Friday ( somemouthful). This easter the house has had the least number of people, 3 girls only! I have grown up in a big family and holidays are to look forward to everytime, there is nothing as amaizing as family holiday drama... #nostalgia.

So we had a pajama party(ish) with a movie at the end. I loved the whole idea -even though i slept within the first 20 minutes of the movie- waking up in a weird place in the morning ( read sittingroom ) was fun especially when my mother (in her late fifties) beat us all and she was the last one lady standing as we snored mid-easter-movie-night. As the family grows smaller hope finally my folks will settle for one tradition that they can do all by themselves when i am finally moved out ...:-)

Everyone watches movies ( if you don't... then you should be) so here is a list of questions and answers about my movie mannerisms... what's yours?

1.What’s your favorite movie of all time and why?
The Color purple, Preety woman as always but i do love Sarafina and sound of music....., yes i love musicals so much.
2.What was the best movie you saw this last year and why?
Last year.... ( thats so last year!!) well i think Bridesmaids definately.... Tree of life, ghost protocal, hugo and  Harry Potter -deathly hallows ( it finally came to an end!!)... guess you can't just have one :-(

3.Who’s your favorite director?


 Steven Spielberg he won me over at a tender age.. Jurrasic park, lost world... indiana jones he has great movies thinks outside the box, great effects and simply value for your time and money kind-of-movies


 (Doesn't this picture remind you of Steve Jobs??? )







4.Do you like black and white movies?
No! thats why i got a coloured TV... greatwall days are over..:-)
5.Do you watch nigerian movies?
Haha, i have to ... as much as you want to change the channel... you watch on hating on somethings... but really they have great lessons... Plus someone please tell the men not to shout ... its preety annoying.
6.What’s the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?
Snakes on a plane!!!!! yikes... i would jump when anything touched my feet in the house for the entire evening...

7.Who’s your favorite actor?

Johnny Depp... you don't even have to ask why.... ( Hawt).. no wonder Penelope Cruz.... #piratesofthecarribean








8.Do you cry at movies?
Yes! I can't hold back my tears.. im emotional... movies such as Fireproof, My name is Khan... i just had to*sniff sniff *
9.What’s the funniest movie you’ve ever seen?
Really can't place a finger they seem funny but lately i guess i liked .... Our Idiot brother (really? that guy)
10.Would you rather see a movie at the theater or at home on DVD?
Theater of course .. the big screen... 3D pocorn at the movies is always great ( what's the secret ingredient???) and better off with friends because they will watch it till it ends without leaving :-)))


This tradition has been there just not the whole idea over easter but it has survived on.... i shall pass it on, modify it make it livelier for my own home and hope that my children's children will have the same :-) Whatever traditions you have going to the coast, partying hard, eating mbuzi, spending time with loved ones. Always remember that easter's greatest and timeless tradition is to show love to others, as Christ did for us, what greater love than this. His atonement gave me a second chance. Lets show love to some one who needs it... its not too late.. yet.

I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT !!!!

This week has been crazy, My mother was away for the last four days. I have been overwhelmed.... running the Kinyanjui's house should be a job on its own.  All my siblings have moved out but this bird here is not leaving the nest... ( atleast not yet ). When mother was away, the mice didn't play for sure. Naturally being the eldest and only one, I took over her responsibilities.

I thought Linet Scavo in desperate housewives was a busy one since all her kids were toddlers and they are messy.... Wrong, dealing with grown ups is equally challenging, because they are bright and smarter. There was a lot of budgeting to do, shopping, organizing, people to call, Hospital visits, repairs to be done, errands, bills to be paid, keeping tabs with extended family... and the list kept going on and on. I was maxed out.

"I don't know how she does it"- a movie starring Sarah Jessica parker couldn't have depicted it better, the working mom who has kids, a great career she keeps her on her toes, a husband who she also needs to keep happy, choices she has to make, people she has to dissapoint. My favorite part which is very true for us women is "The List." which we write in our heads every night before we sleep of stuff that needs to be done... its a great watch, but the best part is that in this small simple things we women do we get the greatest joy.

I do not consider myself selfish, nor lazy but if thats a glimpse of how it will be in the future, well its a scary world and frankly.. im not sure i am prepared for it. I like watching Kimora Lee Simmons ... oh its Hounsou nowadays ( the rate of divorce and remarrying is so fast, i cant keep track of last names).. Life on the fab lane, she has it all together... great kids, a whole business empire and she has not cracked! Amazing. she has her struggles but always comes out triumphant.

I think being a mother means you are completely selfless. A couple of times this week i had to give up some few things of my own to make sure that i did what i needed to be done. I still wonder how my mother does all that and keeps her cool... she must be a super mom, with very great super powers like loving unconditionally, knowing what to say at the right time, knows whats best for all of us. She also has very common slogans like " Because i said so", " Clean your room", " Do what your father says".

Its been four days only but it feels like a lifetime... i really now understand how much my mother does to keep that house running the way it does... but i think ill still need to figure out how she does it, perhaps with my own family... someday :-)

The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.
     -- W.R. Ross    

WHEN I WAS YOUNG I WANTED TO BE A SINGER..

I have been so busy of late not able to update my blog, i had almost lost my life as a blogger for a moment there, but not to worry i have not yet reached the point 'to blog or not to blog'. I am having this Thursday infront of my computer busy trying out Karoke on YouTube. My friend encouraged my to try out for Tusker Project Fame Auditions, she reallly does believe in me, when i asked her for the audition venue and dates, she told me "See press and posters for details!"... huh really i hope next time i wont get a 'terms and conditions apply.' :-)

When i was a child i really wanted to be a singer, when everyone else wanted to be a doctor, pilot, farmer, driver (yes!). I just wanted to sing. I have grown up in a house full of music... (then) we should have had a small choir.  I thought muscians were preety, especially Tina turner and her raspy voice...Whitney (R.I.P). Sound of Music increased my ever burning desire for music. At the age of 5 i could sing in front of a 200 persons' crowd, the comments were encouraging too. (Of course i did not look llike her below... :-)

Somewhere along the way came books, education and Music was not in my school Curriculum. Naturally i was more inclined to passing my maths test than learning the F and G -clefs. Back in school and formed a trio with my friends called - Three Roses and we could actually rock a crowd pretty well. After high school of course came college and lets just say singing lost to other things. Although i would drop some few notes for my friends, that was preety much the end of me doing any singing.

Im standing infront of my laptop practicing a song - If you ask me by Omawumi, (amaizing song!) and i am astounded by how terrible i sound, what happened to my voice??? I was so sure i could pull it off quite easily....#puzzled. Now i actually believe my mother's stories when she tells me she could sing..What im preety sure of is, i will not be checking press and posters for details anytime soon. The simple joy i used to find when singing my heart out has been lost in the hustle and bustle of my daily life. I not giving up yet... im going out to get my groove again :-)

THE TECHNOLOGY CURSE ON DATING

On this lovely Sunday afternoon i decided to do some indulging on Facebook by chatting up some of my virtual friends ( ones i have not met face to face) it is after all social networking! My first conversation;
Me: Hi
Friend 1 : Hi, your pics look hawt!OMG...!!! :-o
Me : Thanks.
Friend 1: How do u know Jane* and Carol*?.... if u know them then you must be coooool.....lol.
Me: (went offline)

I must say meeting someone online has become a bit more boring nowadays. I call it 'The Technology Curse on Dating '. Imagine you only need the Facebook name of a girl/guy you like! I miss high school dating. Back then, a guy had to sum up his courage to ask me for my name, postal address and sometimes even my class. After the first encounter I would wait patiently for a week or longer to get the letter. It was every Friday, letters were called out in the dining hall after supper. Imagine how I felt when my name was called out! I clutched the letter(s) so tightly. Not all letters passed as good, but generally let me sum up the - Characteristics of a good letter:

• The envelop had to be white and the recipients name written in caligraphy.
• The back had to have a tit bit like, 'Open with a smile', 'Kiss before you open', 'Open with love' e.t.c
• The writing paper had to be colorful, the normal foolscap was a thumbs down.
• The letter had to be scented... not too much not too little to be noticed, just perfect.
• At the bottom of every letter was a place for 'Dedics' ( special song for the lady/guy)

If your letter had this, you were officially in the game.

I think of the technological revolution as more of a curse than a blessing ( to a larger extent ) in fostering the pace of relationships, truly matters of the heart should not be rushed. The I-pod, I-pad, I-tunes, I- this , I- that... but I-need-my-letters-written. Love letters have some suspense, anticipation, eagerness carried in them, you cannot simply delete or resend a letter that fast. That means the time taken to come up with the massive makes the words more meaningful, carefully chosen.

In this era i feel like technology has completely rendered love letters obsolete! I am not discrediting its emergence per se, i wouldn't also want to be stuck in stone age as the Flintstones communicating with drums, smoke and blowing of horns. When it comes to relationships, there is alot of information given out too fast and sometimes too soon. There is an overabundance of information that we may not be ready to process in such a fast pace.

In America, a study done shows that the American teenager sends out an average of 3,339 texts in a month ( that's 112 texts per day!). This my have detrimental effects on the kind of communication sent to and fro. The meaning of the words is cheapened! When you speed up communication you end up using more common expressions and cliche' phrases that are not unique and exclusive to one person. This is not a good way of expressing love. Some of the phrases are like : TTYL ( Talk to you later), Lol ( Laugh Out Loud) and many more. Since when do i make a joke and you send me a simple lol!!! Language has been completely distorted with acronyms that makes one sound charming and 'Swaggerful!'. Its like a me rolling on the floor fantasizing just because my new crush liked my photo on Facebook and tweeted me..... Wanna hang sometime. #lame.

Nowadays complete strangers can be an open book. Just Google their names or 'Facebook- Stalk them'.You can find out who has a top job and check out their profile pictures wondering who is that woman he has put his arms around! We don't keep time and we constantly lie on the phone, commonly... " I am almost there", when you are definitely not even out of the house! If only we would go back to when we were to meet at the clock at Kencom on Thursday at noon ( era of no cellphones)- then 'African time' would actually 'On time'.

May be I am being to skeptical and a bit harsh on technology, what I am simply saying is that, we need not dive into the newest form of technology head first (BBM), lets take time to know how it will affect our relationships in the long term. Its Wanja's nature to sometimes hang on to some old fashioned ways and  be conservative. Lets just keep some tangible records of the 21st  century metamorphosis of relationships to be able to look back into sometime in the future. Imagine if Paul in the Bible had written an Email to the Ephesians, and they had to delete it at some point to create more room for newer files... My point exactly!

RETRACING THE FOOTSTEPS OF MY YOUNGER SELF

I am an avid journaller. I started journaling when i was 12 years old. I hadn't quite grasped the idea of why a journal was important then.My teenage journals are filled with short erratic excerpts of my day, poems, lyrics from songs, bible verses and quotes from renowned people.Amidst all the naivety, i can conceptualize a clear metamorphosis of who i have came to be today. My writing makes more sense and is clearer as i grow older.

I do not at all dismiss the young girl's voice in my journals as 'Just a kid', i was able to express myself, my thoughts and feelings through lyrics of music, other people's poetry and great words. This way i have found my voice, my opinion and stand from what other people wrote. My personality has been greatly shaped from that kind of literature ( That is why you should screen through what your children read, watch, and listen to at a very tender age - classic case of your thoughts become your actions!)

When reading some of the entries, i am rather dissapointed in some choices i made. If i could go back in time i would not repeat some of the mistakes i made. Mistakes are lessons we learn from and if we do not make this a point of learning from them, we always put ourselves in almost similar circumstances that make us repeat these same mistakes, sort of a vicious cycle.

Sometimes i feel like reaching out to my younger self and tell her to do things more differently;

1. Don't care so much about what people think.
2. Spend more time with your siblings when you get older some will be thousands of kilometers away.
3. Do not date a bad boy... they really are!
4. Save Save Save!
5. Do not perm your hair...at least not yet.
6. Travel some more meet more people, laugh harder!
7. Don't take everything too seriously
8. Never give up on what you love doing.
9. There are some really bad and nasty people out there but there are more good people too.
10. Friends are essential keep them very close.

There are a million things i would like to tell this teenage girl as her life unfolds in the pages i hold, but, they have made her who she is today and i believe she turned out great! :-) Maybe extravagance made  me know importance of saving.Dating a bad boy made me know when a good man came along, maybe perming my hair made me realize that ' I am not my hair!' ( Yes! I stole that from India Arie)

If i was given a chance to go back and change a lot in the past, I wouldn't. I may have had a diffrent outcome, the ideal life, a complete state of Utopia, but then, i would be wondering what it would have felt like if i had done things differently and i would have never known!

THE WAVE

I am having my lunch break and as i walk past a shop, an old newspaper on the door of a new shop under construction stops me on my tracks. It is my old high school friend and her glam wedding photos are splashed all over the newspaper. Since i am with my workmates i tell them how cute they look on the photo and we all start oohhing and ahhhing at the couple. I finally decide to give her a call and catch up and she says the baby has been born. I am truly happy for her as we talk of the little bundle of joy. At the back of my head i am screaming at the top of my lungs.. "What????"

What happened to the plan back in school where we were supposed to stay single get flashy cars, pretty clothes before we let the knights in shining armor whisk us away? Reality check. My friend calls it the WAVE. The wave starts when all your girlfriends start getting married; have babies or actually settle in serious relationships. She says that if it misses you (the wave), you have to wait for 5 years to get into the wave again.

I may not be of the same school of thought, which proclaims spinsterhood and possible celibacy for the next half a decade.I believe its called growing up and taking risks that others are not willing to. Its knowing who is right for you and not the obvious heart breakers. Its putting your Knight in shinning armour before all the pretty dresses.

I may not be ready to take some of those risks right now but i am preparing to. I am preparing to be a great wife, mother and family pillar, I am letting God make me the best i can be, strong, prayerful, virtuous and loving. Just like flowers some open first and the rest come following later. In this case I may be a late bloomer but definitely a Bloomer!

REASON WHY I NEED A BLACK BERRY

I have never considered myself technologically handicapped and I know my way around several complex gadgets (if we are talking about computers)… the I-pad was really never rocket scienceJ.  After I am done with all this bragging you should see my humble handset, at least I can listen to radio!!! That is as far as the story goes.

I have had a really good phone before but it was it was never for keeps; it was a very heart breaking experience. Let’s just say I have my own set of issues with letting go. Sometimes I feel like if I get a really good phone it will be taken from me leaving me more heartbroken than before. I am slowly working on letting go of my past relationships with good phones and move away from the comfort zone of my current phone (which I would not mind if stolen over and over again). Simple it is ‘Replaceable’.

I am aware of slim touch phones that would fulfill all my dreams. Coming from a bad relationship with my last phone, this time I will take baby steps. I just want a Blackberry. I believe it is practical for a beginner who is moving on, it may be a bit difficult at first to dump my old handset but I hope slowly he will come to realize that we are really not fit for each other.

He has been holding me back form uploading all those pictures online. I cannot even respond to some of my emails, tweets and comments on time especially those days I am away from my PC! Can you believe he doesn’t even want to share the sim card slot with his own twin brother from Airtel!!!!

He has been my faithful and loyal servant but I think it’s time he loosened his grip and let me go. It’s time for me to spread my wings and soar. I need him to trust me, have faith and let me join the other side. Where emails are replied on time and tweets shared just at the right moment. That’s why I need a Blackberry.

A RELATIONSHIP.....TREAT IT LIKE A JOB

Some few years ago, one of my good friends (rather Older than me) gave me good insight for my relationship life. He told me “A relationship should be treated like a Job”.  Then I was in campus I did not have any job so I equated the same to an assignment. Let me tell you how I handled my assignments back in campus;

•         I was either too over ambitious and did all the work exhaustively and completed it weeks before the deadline. In a nutshell I rushed them.

•      I was either too lazy to work on them, then I would do them overnight the day before handing them in.

I bet you now realize why that advice was not really appropriate for a 20 year old mind. I recently go a new job and the analogy given to me earlier started to make sense. It is true that a relationship
may
work best when treated as a job. This is how…

COMMUNICATE

As in the work place learn how to reply to texts, emails and phone calls. Keep people updated on the progress of your department (read life). If a matter is to be discussed that is very important ensure that all the parties affected have some bearing to the decision made. It is unprofessional (relationship-wise) not to communicate if you will be late for a meeting and if you will not be able to make it for a date.

HAVE A PLAN

Getting into a relationship without a plan is like shooting with no aim. If a relationship is not viable kindly move on to the next viable project, do not go around in circles there will be very low or no profit in the long run. Set short term goals such as taking her out on date, making a phone call or even long term goals such as moving in together, getting married! Weigh the pros and cons of every decision then make a decision with lots of objectivity, sometimes listening to your heart clouds your mind. 

KNOW WHAT IS THERE IN THE MARKET

This can be your competitor’s profile. Who are they? Why would he/she choose them over you? What can you do to ensure that he/she does not lose interest in your products or services (Yes! services). If the lady loves poetry or fashion you better take her there over the traditional good ol’ movie theaters. Keep up with the current trends. 

MARKETING!!
The way you talk, dress and generally appearance says a lot about who are. Set a standard and stick to it. People are comfortable with consistency. Inconsistency may bring about distortion of the brand image. Good grooming and stay healthy to ensure that you have a wide base of prospective ‘suitors’. Be very careful with those that want free samples, ‘If they want constant supply of the milk, they’d better get the cow too!’

 The basic things we do in our day to day activity at work if applied with the same level of seriousness and enthusiasm in their relationships, would form very good relationships, my take. Think about it!!

THE BAD BOY CRAZE........

I am seated at my desk as usual working and humming to this song by Jaydn Maria “Good Girls like Bad Boys”, quietly I cannot help but think how true this is, as much as we may want to disagree with modesty, it is still very true! (I Included). We always literally run away from the really nice guys and chase after the one guy that you wouldn’t take to your mama.

Isn’t it unfair that the nice guys always finish last? It is always the bad guy that wins, the rogues, rascals and very spoilt brats. Sometimes I tend to think that once you get a bad guy it is like a breath of fresh air, something out of the ordinary totally exciting. When ladies are with bad boys they tend to relax and not worry so much about, etiquette and being all lady-like they are purely themselves and not uptight.

On the other hand being with a nice guy is somewhat of a big responsibility at times, since they have this picture of a perfect girlfriend or even spouse! Most of the time the lady is trying so much to be what they want them (nice guy) to be rather than what they ought to be. A bad boy will outrightly tell you what they want from you however intimidating and annoying it is to us women, deep down we like it and find it rather cute (and don’t deny) that’s why being around them is much easier since you do not see a future with them the future with them is now…

This doesn’t mean that all the nice guys should start being jerks since we love bad boys. No! you should strike a balance between being a complete manipulative person and a harmless nice guy. Be cool and charming that will win the beauties. Bad boys can be so addictive, Right!, but a proper lady should know when to snap out of it because they are not really for keeps. Trust me I have examples top of my head...

Somewhere on the map....

Last year (feels good to say that), i had my share of local tourism around the country. Most memorable was when i went to work at the coast. I know you are thinking about sandy beaches, warm water and sunglasses on (that's me pulling the 'diva 'look"), and you're right that's what happened, for a week!


I was living in a small village named Kikoneni, the people living there had a deep rooted culture. Adapting their lifestyle was somewhat new and definitely not easy. Unlike back in the city, you have to spend a couple of minutes every morning greeting a stranger and finding out how their morning is! If you do not they take offense and intern you cannot be able to get the data you want.

My first night, supper there was completely traditional, prominent tribes there were the Digo, Duruma, Giriama and Rabai. We sat on mats that were made from interwoven palm leaves under the starry sky. The cuisine there was coconut this and coconut that... beans, rice and it was very delicious not thinking of the calories in coconut oil!

The first house I visited was a typical traditional mud house where i had to spend the day with the mother. Their usual chores included one i found very interesting, pounding dry maize in a motor and pestle commonly called "Kinu' (i still wonder why they do that before taking it to the posho mill). The exercise looked simple as the mother did it, naturally, being of good cheer i decided to help. Woe unto me, as i tried to control the heavy stick i kept on missing and hitting the side of the wooden mortar. Children gathered around me like i was offering some sort of amusement, i gave one twelve year old girl to do it ( since she gave me that look - Really) and she executed the duty effortlessly while I rubbed my blister full hand on my jeans. The rest of the weeks passed on well and i learnt how to make the local cuisine including Mnazi! (Yes) but technically i could not climb the tree, i thought it would catapult me meters away.

Living in the village taught me several things, yes you can do without internet, running water, and phones (but can definitely do better with them around). It made me see life in a new light, how women in many parts of the country are still marginalized and work tirelessly in their households. How early marriages still exist in the back yard of our own country! The land is very productive and rich, but still farmers suffer under the hands of middlemen not getting what they are fully entitled to. Poverty was rampant and with it came issues of early pregnancies, hygiene, sanitation and ignorance.

I could not bring civilization in a month, nor educate in a week, but i made a difference to the few i could, I learnt and accepted their way of life. During that period i got a gift of humility , peace of mind and above all i found favor among my fellow clansmen. If walk down the streets of Kikoneni today I'll will be proudly called a Kikonenite!